I have a blog I follow and I just love it. I am awe inspired by Christina and how she is a "hands full mom" with her beautiful 8 children. She shared some awesome things about marriage on her latest post. I love learning things about great women who I admire and look up too...she is just one of them.
Let's start off with a short spotlight on a general conference talk by Julie B. Beck. So many great thoughts were shared that are so relevant to our lives. I especially liked this quote from Eliza R. Snow that was used in the talk:
"Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.”8I needed that message because sometimes I get so frustrated with taking care of everyone else and I start to feel sorry for myself. "Who's going to take care of me?" I think. It's good to remember that I'm not a baby. I am a woman, capable, strong, and smart.
Some thoughts and ideas to share:
* Every marriage requires adjustment and compromise.
* You can't change your spouse. You can only change yourself. A wise woman in church said that when she got married she discovered her husband loved sports, while she barely even knew what a ball was. She wanted her family more focused on music and theater, and she said, "I really thought I could change him. I learned that didn't work." She spent many years at the bleachers with little kids (she raised five sons). Interestingly, her children learned from both parents. Her oldest son is a concert pianist. The other four are very good at sports.
* We mothers and wives set the tone in our home. We can put up beautiful and inspiring pictures and listen to lovely music.
* "Love them" into doing the things you want them to do.
* Be grateful for the good things your husband does. A suggestion is to make two lists, the positive and the negative, and then take a match and burn up the negative list.
* Don't compare your husband to other men. Be aware of and encouraging of his good points and patient with his faults.
* The importance of affectionate touch.
* Men want to be admired. Let them know you love them and admire the work they do.
* It's helpful to remember that most men are task-oriented people. During courtship, the task was to woo and court. Once they've married, many men see the new task as providing for their families so they put their focus there.
Along those lines, someone once shared how she was so touched by this video when she saw it online (you'll have to click on it to see it full-screen; I don't know how to shrink it).
She showed it to her husband who said, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen." Doesn't that just illustrate the differences between men and women and the challenge we have becoming unified in a vision for our marriages and homes?
* The importance of keeping a home neat and orderly. It makes a difference. It helps me sometimes to realize that my husband has to do a lot of things in the course of his job that he doesn't enjoy. If he's willing to do all that to provide for our family, can't I take on the task of the housework without complaining?
* One friend said that she notices that when she's the most critical of her husband and all the things he's not doing, it's usually at the time of greatest stress in her life and that it's the stress at the root of the problem, not her husband. When she's less stressed, the same things just don't bother her.
* When we are concerned about improving our marriages or about choices our husbands are making that aren't good, we can increase our prayers and attend the temple seeking those things we desire. God knows us and will help us find solutions, peace, and hope.
* Pornography is a huge problem in many marriages. Some suggestions for how to avoid it were to put the computer in a main living area, to have filters and passwords and to just be aware of the danger. For those who are addicted, it is important to seek outside help and not expect that things will get better without it. The Church's Addiction Recovery Program is wonderful and the success rate is very high.
* It is silly to expect our husbands to meet our every need. "When I expect him to take care of my every need, I forget that's what Heavenly Father is for. I can't expect my husband to stand in for Heavenly Father." said one woman.
* Remember what a blessing it is to be married and have children. One mother, married at age 31 shared that she is determined to keep her marriage strong because she knows what a blessing it is. "Being single is really hard. There's good things about it, but it's also lonely." Another girl shared that once she was complaining about her husband to an older woman in her ward who's never been married. "Oh, stop it," the woman gently told her, "don't you know how blessed you are?"
So.....what do you do to make your marriage a priority? What qualities are you grateful for in your husband?
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment